Spring showers bring---clean house

I'm in the process of completely redoing (and throughouly cleaning) every single room/closet/space in our apartment. The process actually started a few months ago when I switched the room our bedroom is in, but is not in full out clean-or-die mode.
On a different note, I've been up going on 48 hours (with only 2 one hour naps). BOO! My eyes are so blood shot but when I put eyedrops in them it is like fire.
Jeannie and Mike brought us a washer and dryer that Stacy had found through one of her mommy groups. They are super awsome. Now things can be even more clean! I'm in an exclamation kinda mood!
I've discovered how to make my own ice coffee and that my body severly dislikes dairy. Tonight is going oh so slow.
I think that one of my personality flaws is that when ever anyone says anything, I then say something to relate it to my own life.. I believe this to be an annoying concieted issue (EX.. x says I haven't been sleeping. I reply.. I've been having trouble sleeping too... )
The whole new monthly habit thing didn't seem to work out.. I have lost one pants size though. Hope to continue that progress. Maybe one day I will no longer be a blimp.

so far so good..

So far my January habit is coming along nicely.

However I have been "doping" myself to sleep. I've been very depressed. Boo :(

A New Year A New Approach?

So I've been surfing the web and the general consensus is that it takes one full month to create a new habit.
So... I will create 12 life changes this year. One for each month.
There is no real criterion for these changes.
January's focus is to apply lotion to my arms, legs and face as well as to make sure I take my pills everyday. This is important to my because I have horrible eczema on my legs and really want it to go away. The pills are important because well various reasons.

I hope to keep up the blog with my progress and any other things I'm working on.

I'm also learning to knit which I'm very excited about. I want to knit myself a scarf (to get the hang of it) then knit baby Oliver something.

Michael just admitted that he fools (has twice) around with Amy. She is a virgin (Catholic). I got the pang that tells me what I already knew-- I'm not over him.

I still feel like someone invaded my house a little seeing as I know they fooled around at the apartment and she slept there. But I've been sleeping with Josh (sex) like every day.

The weather sucks.

I'm sick of depression.

I need my job to start.

Trashed

Uck. I got trashed last night. Uck. 151 is evil.

For some reason I've been so emotional lately. I think its because I'm sitting around on my ass, be it here or at Josh's. I've stopped kicking my own ass.

I miss Michael.

I miss warm weather.

Sigh

April 13th.. very early

So I've been seeing (aka sleeping) with this guy named Josh that I met at the V-Club. We hooked up last Friday. We've been hanging out just about every night. The sex is okay, nothing spectacular. I love being around him though. He makes me feel so special and beautiful. I think that we can work the sex thing out. The oral is pretty good, we just need to figure out the rest. We both have voracious sexual appetites and like ruff sex, so that is good too.

I told him tonight that the sex wasn't so spectacular, he was really thrown off guard. We will see how that turns out.

I work from 1-5 at Starbucks on Monday, which is very exciting. I've been pretty emotional lately. I'm wondering if its because I've been sick, or maybe because I lowered one of my meds... or maybe the shitty weather... who knows.

April 1st

I feel like I can't handle this. I no longer feel welcome here. Everything was okay when the kids weren't here, now that they are Brent is back to being horrible. I don't want to cause a strain between the two of them but Brent is making me so mad. He is hardly ever here but he judges based on the little bit he sees. His life isn't even inconvenienced by the dog.

Stacy's friend Jenny mentioned something about having an apartment above her garage free of rent just utilities. I would only have to watch her kids for 15 hours a week. Right now I don't have money for utilities let only my own food. I also don't feel ready to live on my own but I can't take the tension between Brent and Stacy.